He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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