it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
