we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
