well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
