i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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