i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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