can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
