Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
