eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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