the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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