Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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