if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
