ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
