Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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