Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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