you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
