oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
