I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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