yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
