I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
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