We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
