Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Found your dick twin last night
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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