i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
did you just send me my own nude
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
