I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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