There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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