Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
