i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
