I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize