oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize