I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
