I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
