his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
