dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
