his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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