so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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