Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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