I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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