Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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