Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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