I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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