it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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