just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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