im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
