My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
