I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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