Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
