I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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