i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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