Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
