I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i think i have two assholes
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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