Don't you send me to vm
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
