also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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