Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
