Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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