And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Do you still have your period?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
