I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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