porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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