I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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