I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
