The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
